Making Mealtimes Pleasant and Pressure

Making Mealtimes Pleasant and Pressure-Free

January 29, 2025 Children

Mealtimes with young children can be messy, unpredictable, and, at times, frustrating.

As parents, we want our children to eat well and grow healthy. But sometimes, we try too hard—pressuring, pleading, or begging them to eat. The good news? Mealtimes can be a lot less stressful for both you and your child when you take the pressure off.

Mealtimes with young children

Mealtimes with young children can be messy, unpredictable, and, at times, frustrating.

As parents, we want our children to eat well and grow healthy. But sometimes, we try too hard—pressuring, pleading, or begging them to eat. The good news? Mealtimes can be a lot less stressful for both you and your child when you take the pressure off.

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Understanding Your Child’s Eating Habits

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It’s completely normal for kids to:

  • Be picky about what they eat.
  • Love a food one day and refuse it the next.
  • Be hesitant about trying new foods.
  • Make a mess while eating.
  • Avoid vegetables or certain textures.
  • Eat a lot one day and hardly anything the next.

Many parents respond by:

  • Encouraging their child to finish all their food.
  • Reminding them that they liked a food before.
  • Pressuring them to try new foods.
  • Criticizing messy eating.
  • Praising them for eating “good” foods.
  • Insisting they eat more (or less).

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents feel like they need to step in to ensure their child eats enough or eats the “right” foods. However, pressuring children during meals can often backfire, making mealtimes more stressful and less enjoyable for everyone.

Why Pressure Doesn’t Work

Pressuring kids to eat certain amounts or types of food can create negative feelings about eating and lead to power struggles. Over time, it might even cause them to resist those foods altogether. Instead, focus on creating a pleasant environment that helps your child feel comfortable and confident about eating.

Supporting Healthy Eating Without Pressure
Here’s what your child needs—and how you can help:

What Your Child Needs How You Can Help
Routine meals and snacks. Offer 3 meals and 2–3 snacks daily with water in between. This helps your child trust they’ll have regular opportunities to eat.
A relaxed mealtime. Talk about your day instead of focusing on how much or what your child eats.
A role model. Show healthy eating habits by eating a variety of foods yourself. Over time, your child will follow your example.
Independence. Let your child serve themselves and choose what to eat from what’s offered. Avoid pressuring, praising, or commenting on their choices.
Confidence in eating. Include at least one food they’re familiar with at each meal (like bread or rice). This ensures they’ll have something to eat, even if they’re hesitant about trying other foods.
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Responding to Common Mealtime Challenges
Here are some helpful ways to respond when your child tests the limits at mealtime:

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If Your Child Says… Consider Responding With…
“Why do I have to come to the table?” “I see you’re busy. In two minutes, we’re all going to the table to eat together.”
“I’m not hungry.” “You don’t have to eat, but you still need to sit at the table with us.”
“Yuck, I don’t like it.” “That’s okay. You can say, ‘No, thanks.’ There are other foods on the table you might like.”
“I want more pasta!” “Okay.” (Let them eat as much or as little of each food as they want.)
“I’m done.” “Okay.” (Let them leave if they’re done eating. Younger kids can play nearby while others finish.)
“I’m hungry.” (Outside of meal/snack times.) “We’re not eating right now. You can have water or wait until the next snack or meal.”

Setting Up for Success​

As a parent, your role is to:

  • Decidewhatfoods to serve.
  • Decidewhenmeals and snacks happen.
  • Decidewheremeals and snacks are served.

It’s your child’s job to decideif and how muchto eat from what’s offered.

Creating a structured routine with regular meals and snacks may take some adjustment at first, but it helps build a positive relationship with food over time. By focusing on relaxed, pressure-free meals, you’re setting your child up for a lifetime of healthy eating habits.

REFERENCES:

Adapted from Positive Mealtimes by British Columbia Dairy Association.
https://secure.bcdairy.ca/Resources?id=oo7EH2JfH1&name=Positive%20Mealtimes%20Booklet.pdf
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Responding to Common Mealtime Challenges
Here are some helpful ways to respond when your child tests the limits at mealtime:

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Feeding a 6-7 Month Old

Feed solids with a spoon and from a bowl, never from a bottle.

Feeding a 10-12 Month Old

Breast milk is the most important source of nutrition for your baby, even after you start offering solid foods.

Feeding a 8-9 Month Old

Feed solids with a spoon. Never put cereal in a bottle.

Tips

Mom new born home

Breast milk and formula feeding:

Around 2-3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months of age, babies may experience a growth spurt when they feed more often.

As they grow babies can hold more milk, so feedings may become further apart and take less time.

To prevent choking, always hold your baby when feeding. Never prop up a bottle to feed.

Start offering whole milk when your baby is one year old.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months and that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months and beyond.

feeding solid foods

Feeding solid foods:

Wait to offer solid foods until your baby:

  • Can sit up and hold up their own head.
  • Opens their mouth when they see food.
  • Can close their lips around a spoon.

To prevent choking, always hold your baby when feeding. Never prop up a bottle to feed.

Try one new food at a time. Wait 5 days before trying another new food to watch for allergies. Food allergies may include wheezing, rash, or diarrhea.

Introduce peanut butter around 6 months. Spread a small, thin smear of peanut butter or nut butter thinly on a cracker.  Watch your baby for any reaction for the next 2 hours.

Babies under one year should NOT have honey due to the risk of botulism. Also, babies should not have foods that can cause choking like nuts or whole grapes.

All babies are different. Talk with WIC or your baby’s healthcare provider about your baby’s needs.

Feeding Cues

Feeding a 4-5 Month Old

Before teeth come in, wipe gums with a soft, clean wash cloth after each feeding, especially before bed.

Feeding a 0-3 Month Old

Newborns have tiny tummies and need to be fed often. In the first few weeks, you may need to wake your baby to feed if they sleep longer than 4 hours.

Growth Spurts

Many babies are fussy during a growth spurt and will want to nurse longer and more often. This is called cluster feeding. This is your baby’s way of helping you increase your milk supply so that you can keep up with their needs. Remember, the more your baby nurses, the more milk your body makes.

Growth spurts can happen at any time, and every baby is different.

They often happen at these ages:

two-three-weeks

2 to 3 Weeks

6 Weeks

three-months

3 Months

six-months

6 Months

What foods can I get?

Authorized Food List
Authorized Food List

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